Journal de Lotus, 15 mai 08

You shouldn't count when that happens it will only discourage you! Just let it go and move on and you'll be back to where you were in no time. 

LOL too late now..i had to know..now that number will haunt me until the end of time, lol! Maybe it will deter me in the future... 

Hopefully...did you find that article? It talks about how not dealing with emotions leads to binging, and what to do to help. 

I did, but the sad thing is, I know all this already. It doesn't happen as frequently as it used to, and I thought I had conquered it. To me it seems similar to a "recovered" alcoholic faced with tempotation long after being sober. It was unexpected and out of the blue. I don't know how to prevent it from happening again, because I really dion't understand WHY I found myself turning to binging after all this time. i have problems.. 

Hey, we've all had days that we pretend never happened!! I'll bet we've all done damage similar to that at some points. :) Just having the courage to talk about it is great and getting back to it, is the winning key! Chin up babes! You have a great plan to get back at it and back down again, and I know you can do it! :) 

Oh and I have had issues with depression and other complusive behavior has been an issue with me as well..once again, I though that was all in the past but it seems remanants of that is still with me. i used to drink and use drugs to deal..strangely even after counseling and suppossed recovery I still have unresolved issues, after all this time. 

Thanks bully, but it seems to me a failure on a larger scale since I thought I had conquered it you know? It wasn't like i just decided to eat a little more, it was like in one instant, I lost control and dealt with the guilt of eating the ice cream by eating EVERYTHING ELSE!! It is just so irrational I don't understand it myself. 

we all have issues hun, lol. I have serious obsessive compulsive behaviors too. You will get past it, or at least learn how to love your quirky things. Just one day at a time :) 

I took a quiz about disorded eating, and it put me at high riskl for developing an eating disorder. But a lot of the traits they touched on seemed to me normal for any dieter, such as weighing every day and planning meals ahead, etc. i do think about my weight a lot. I just don't want to go back to where I was. I have been thin and gained it all back again because iof depression and binging. I don't think that will happen again but it does haunt me. It bothers me so much when peopel say thinkgs like, "Oh you're so thin, you can cheat justy this once!" Do people not realize that it takes work to STAY thin? you don't just get to your goal weight and magically stay there, you have to keep on watching what uyou eat, you can't just go right back to your old habits. I have a maintance plan that is flexible and doable, so there was no reason for me to go off the deep end. I do know from expereince that an abundance of sugar, liek I hgad in the sundae and hot chocolate, will cause me to crash and have depressive and irrational thoughts, and I do think that vulnerability set me up for the binge. I hope next time I will have the foresight to see that crash coming. What I should have done was eat some fiber or protein to slow the sugar down,even though I was past my daily calories at that point, and drink a lot of water so it wouldn't hit me so hard. It may have saved me from losing control. 

But try to remember, that was complete stress, panic type emotional eating.... an almost uncontrollable thing to try to stop without setting up for success. This takes much time, and practice. Keeping the bad foods out of the house, can be difficult, but it can be done and that alone, can really help curb a binge. Keep your head held HIGH!! Anxiety issues are difficult to attend to, don't beat on yourself about it, it won't do any good. Look at setting yourself up for success! :) I'm sure you'll work off and flush out your gain with lots of hard work and water in no time! :) 

YES!! I agree, have protein and fiber and lots of water if the attack comes. Make up a big batch of grilled veggies and pig out on that with your favorite seasonings until you can't eat anymore. I know, easier said than done... but having the right foods on hand is key! :) 

I'm not really all that worried about the little bit of weight that came on..I'm just..disturbed at the weirdness of my brain, LOL!!! :)