Journal de GlennM, 12 mars 14

I am so relieved that you are getting to see your Mom again. Hope you have a meaningful experience.  

Thanks, Buffy. My sister and I just made amends, I told her off last week. We are twins who never fight. She called after I made this journal entry. My mom is going into hospice on Friday.  

My mom is doing OK, but she has the delirium that comes with cancer and infections. Chemo makes one weaker and in the long run causes infections after a time. My mother can have no more chemotherapy, she is too weak. I ate a submarine sandwich last night (stress) which is called a grinder in New England. I have insomnia lately. Today I need a break after being up most of the night and to not go to the nursing home, it is 40 miles each way. I need to go to church this weekend too, for my own peace of mind. It will be cool today, but in the coming weeks it will warm up and when it gets above 40 degrees Fahrenheit I will get walking again, at least a mile or two a day. I am moving in December to someplace... but for sure it is going to be a place where it is not such a hassle to walk around. I am near a major road with no stoplights to cross easily, so I will be glad to move in December.  

I know I have not been on the site much, and in a way the site here has 'died' in a way, the new format is IMHO one complete mess. We used to see a long thread of numerous friends' comments in one section first. The site is WAY less user friendly, so I can see most of my buddies have left for the hills. In 2008 or so there were a half dozen or more people conversing at once on one thread during the evenings, it was very interactive and I can say it is not now. There is more advertising on here but due to the poor layout that exists now I imagine many get off of here after a short time. I need to get on here and journal, but my mom passing on soon is very upsetting and I need to go up next week and rent a hotel room for a week, as it is time to be able to say goodbye as my friends are burned out driving me up there. There is a hotel right down the street not far away. I will bring my laptop up there and my dog is OK to go. I will have to eat out, but I have to go as my mother's time is short and she may not be clear-minded much more than a few more weeks. I had a small piece of maple sugar candy today, allergies (indoor) are bothering me a bit with a very runny nose, but I am doing OK otherwise and now it is beginning to warm up so I will be able to go for long walks soon enough. I am moving in December to probably buy a condo in a better bus route area, same town.  

Doing OK. I saw my mom Saturday evening. She is the most lucid she has been since admitted on December 26, 2013. My church is praying for her as are the Catholic nuns my dad's sister is a part of. I ate out last night and got a sandwich, so it isn't exactly low carb... but the weather is warming up so I hope to go for a walk on Sunday. I woke up in the middle of the night, lots of dreams the past week about my mother, so I know she is thinking of me and my two sisters all of the time. She is only 67. The site here is less user friendly. About five, six years ago one could easily converse with twenty people a day, the site was easier to use... easier to find one's buddies. All of those people are off the site now, I think a few of the long-term ones passed on as they were older.  

GlennM, I don't know you, but was reading posts. I am sorry for your mother. Cancer is a hard thing to deal with and I am sure you are under a lot of stress. I am a 5 yr cancer survivor and on my 5 yr anniversary, my mom was diagnosed. We carry the hereditary BRCHA gene. She has done 2 chemos and decided to quit as she was not healing from surgery and was just really sick. She is going to be 64. I know how you feel with the insomnia. I have been going through this as well. I lie awake and think about my mom and how my life would be if either one of my parents passed on. As you get older, you think a lot more about your life. Anyway, I hope you are well and your mom is comfortable. Be happy that you are there to spend this time with her! Good luck to you! 

Thanks, Sheanaj. I can't download any photos of me on this site anymore and I had numerous photos in different section and the site took them off. Now new people don't know what I look like. I was an apple for a long time. Ha, ha. It may be time to move onto other sites unless I can figure out why my photos will not download.  

Yes, Sheanaj, It has been very, very, very hard. My mom has been in the hospital and nursing home since December 26th. It is so hard to say goodbye. I miss her so much already. My grandparents were tough, my mom' mom. But a parent is so much worse, I never imagined this. She was a tough mom. I will miss her until I die. It is so hard to deal with... I am doing OK with the dieting, not gaining and soon I will be walking as it warms up in Massachusetts.  

I am being told I need to download a toolbar to get photos to load in. That is a virus mess I don't want so I refuse to do it. I imagine everyone will have this problem in a matter of months.  

The photo showed up... for some reason, I could not download for some time. Thanks, FS staff.  

Sorry to hear about your mom. Will keep you in my prayers. 

Enjoy your visit