|
So, its Sunday.
Easy Sundays are always nice. I have always wondered, is it the beginning or the end of the week? Who really knows.
I saw the nutritionist face to face on Thursday. I walked into her office with this feeling of excitement and hope, with a small sense of security mixed in there. I had played the visit out in my mind already; after I told her about my 6-month long struggle through yo-yo diet hell, she was going to give me this magic formula for weight loss that no body ever wants you to know about. I was sort of treating her like the holy grail of all diet-things because I felt she was the most reliable and correct source of information. She is a registered dietitian, after all.
Heres how the visit really went: I talked about what was going on, and tried not to drown her in sob stories about my mom's comments about my weight. (I'll admit, I did get teary-eyed, damn it lol) Then she concluded the obvious- I'm not losing any weight because I am not keeping my calories consistent.
She asked me if I was counting calories over the time period that i I had lost 120 pounds. I told her "No, I only started when my weight loss started to slow down. It was the first time I had ever seen the scale at a stand still, and I became so frustrated that I figured counting calories and being militant would get me results."
She figures counting calories stresses me out too much. So she gives me a pamphlet, which I reluctantly take and look over, and instructs me to just eat whats on it. Its a two week, 1300 calorie a day menu.
Okay, so now we're getting somewhere. She tells me I need 1300 calories to lose weight, and 1800 to maintain my weight.
Upon learning this she tells me calories are calories its just about restricting them. I felt like asking her, "So, if calories are calories, then you could eat 1200 calories of snickers minis and as long as you keep your calories consistent, you'd lose weight?"
"Ugh, I dont think so lady."
We also discussed how I was hungry right after I ate. From our phone conversation, she assumed I was eating something like a candy bar, which would have sent my blood sugar sky high, and then upon dropping super low, i would indeed feel hungrier than before. But no, I'm eating salad with chicken on it, or a sandwich with an apple. She told me to talk to my counselor about that because she believes its not physical hunger; its emotional.
Oh and she says to get the hell out of my house because everything would be a lot easier. Ha. This seems to me a reoccurring theme of a lot of conversations lately.
I was a tid-bit disappointed when I left because she didnt tell me anything that I didnt already know/suspect. (And I didnt agree with a few things she said to be accurate.) But you know what? I learned a lot, and not necessarily factual information. I realized that a lot of my diet blunders were due to stress and some of it was just in my head. Its scary to think about, but its true.
I am now trying to tell the difference between emotional and physical hunger and its really hard right now. When I asked my counselor what she thought, she said, "Its going to be difficult until you have established a routine of healthy eating again."
She's right. My body has been going through these extremes and its probably really tired of it, so until I have settled into a comfortable eating pattern, I'm going to feel weird.
So I have decided that I'm going to stop being so hard on myself. For the next two weeks, I'm going to try to have 1200-1400 calories a day and log my food. I have to try to not nit-pick myself, though. Thats not why I am logging my food. Its not to penalize or reward good/bad eating. I just want to evaluate how I feel.
After two weeks, I can ask myself how I felt, and look back and see what I ate, so I can find out what works for me.
I've also relaxed on my exercising. Well, I have, and I havent, if that makes any sense. lol Instead of exercising 2 hours every other day, I am doing strength training three times a week, and cardio 2-3 times a week. So, I figure as long as get 45-60 mins of exercise 5 days a week, I should be good, right?
I really want to thank my buddies for all your support. Your journals, and comments on my own, have shed light on the darkest parts of this time in my life. Honestly, I dont know what I would do without all of you. Its comforting to know you're here for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
|
1203 kcal
|
Gras: 17,06g | Prot: 112,10g | Glu: 158,88g.
Petit Déjeuner: grapefruit, mushrooms, onion, red pepper, turkey ham, egg, egg whites. Déjeuner: tuna, wheat bread, watermelon, cauliflower, baby carrots. Dîner: steamfresh, mushrooms, salmon burger, strawberries, spinach. Snacks/Autre: milk, peach, strawberries, celery, apricot, sugar snap peas, yogurt. plus...
|
|