Journal de old_but_not_out, 04 mai 24

I had to clean both rice makers, pressure cooker, air fryer and then noticed walls around them needed cleaning too. When Trader Joe’s opens I’ll hit that myself because she doesn’t get up early. It’s not her fault and the only reason it’s even an issue is because work is taking so much and that’s my fault not hers. Work Well damn we are growing so fast that everything is literally out of control. I could make a very solid argument that I need to be in austin, Phoenix, Orlando, Richmond, and Columbus next week. I spend my days training, that’s my only way out of this mess, and then 7 or 8 hours at night doing my inventory work for the whole chain. You simply can not do 5 acquisitions, 5 branch moves, 4 branch openings, with one person that does all of the racking, layout, location creation, location labeling, training, monitoring performance and space constraints. And so much more. ME There is none. There is no time to bowl. There is no time to play tennis. There is no time for anything that isn’t for someone else. No time to sleep. I will be away from home the next 6 weeks and my guess is it won’t end there. I need to get my wife down south to visit her dads and I’m going to have to fold that into a work trip. Ok enough complaining gotta finish cleaning :-) 

Sounds like a plea for some help. Reach out to secure some support and assistance. 

Larry that’s the catch 22. There is no help available until I develop it. It’s why I train all day so my future gets better while I work all night to keep the spinning plates afloat. It’s a 2-3 year plan 

My sister’s husband is not able to help her anymore due to medical issue and she has to do everything. It’s taking a toll. We finally talked her into getting a house cleaner to come in and luckily she has a lawn service already. It’s a huge responsibility and although not his fault it’s sad to watch. She has to drive him everywhere and he only usually goes out to go to Dr etc. If you are able to get a bit of help like cleaning services, lawn care, etc that would certainly help. I’m sorry you are going through this. 💜 

I live with chronic migraines and there are a couple tricks I have to make life easier. If you pack up items around the house, you won't need to keep them clean. Extra plates, cups, silverware and bowls (either one more than the number of people in your house or enough for two meals,) the extra rice maker, extra serving and cooking utensils, knick knacks, blankets and sheets(two sets for each bed,) towels (one more than people in the house,) etc. Aim for laundry to be, at most, one load more than there are people in your house. Label the boxes and put them away nicely in a closet or somewhere where you won't be affected by them daily. There will still be stuff to clean but it can't get beyond your control if the extra items aren't there to be used. If you're able to, get rid of items that you don't need nor want while packing. It's more work in the short run but I've found it helps me to not become hopelessly behind on housework when I'm down for the count.  

Have you had your wife evaluated for cognitive issues? good luck with all your plates! 

I feel this one. It’s hard. One of the things I’m trying to embrace is that paying someone to take care of things you don’t have the time for allows you to spend more time with those you love.  

I have a cleaner come in to help with all the chores , cleaning changing beds and laundry. Had her for just 20 years. Money well spent 

Living with a person who has mental health issues is difficult. Remember to take time alone and with quiet by yourself to contemplate and recharge.  

Does your wife have any outside friends? Isolation is half the problem most times, and it's not right to depend on your spouse for all your emotional needs. 

My wife hates to clean so it is always up to me, I knew going in, she is a traveling nurse so sometimes gone for 3 months , which gives me a break!When she is home I get a house cleaner to keep up! 

good luck russel sharing the chores definitely makes things more manageable hope you can. figure something out to lighten the load on you a bit  

@diana she would so not allow someone to come in and clean. That is her safe space. I don’t mind the work at home I do need work work to calm down some. My biggest fear is I die before her which really was my biggest why I’m losing weight. She is 12 yrs younger than me so I have to survive for a long time and not have to rely on her like your sisters husband does. I appreciate your support  

@sheryl sorry you suffer from migraines. I don’t handle pain well so my heart goes out to you. It’s funny her and I live sort of the way you describe. When I leave for work I make sure she has everything she needs to get by until I get home. Mostly that means enough kitchenware that she can still eat even if she can’t do the dishes that week. Fortunately for me I like cleaning the kitchen  

@abbadabba. Yes we have. She is a wonderful mix of bipolar and adhd with the occasional period of migraines  

Kat and Pinky I completely agree that it would be money well spent. The emotional stress it would cause her would not be worth it.  

Anitta thank you for the kind words. I am bipolar as well so it’s easier for me to understand her. I do get some alone time such as right now on my flights from ct to Austin. Two plus hours with little to do :-)  

@pegster no she does not. And no it isn’t healthy. As her therapist has pointed out we make really unhealthy dependency work out.  

Do n ok. 3 months apart? Wow I am not sure either of us would be able to handle that. Is it hard to adjust to being alone and then not being alone?  

OTB you handle far more than I do I’m pretty much any day so all I have to do is be as good as you !