Journal de bitchinbadassgainz, 16 janv. 23

Start of 2021, I was great. Very fit and happy with life. Then there was one week in July where I went out with a bunch of friends, and over 5 days, gained over 4kg (yup, I ate loads). Through a very stressful half year, I got back down to 52kg. During December '21 -January '22, I went through a breakup and went to rock bottom emotionally. Start of 2022, back to 56kg. I lost that weight again, bwent down to 52kg by November. And now, at the end of '22/start of '23, back to 56kg. I just don't get why this weird cycle yoyo thing keeps happening again and again. Anyways, I'm determined for my friends not to see me fat again. I'm aiming to get back down to 52kg by Feb 1st. I know, pretty big jump, but I think I've got it covered. A 16 day ultimate crash diet. Going to try lose > 250g every day, and burning 2000 cals per day, eating OMAD at dinner. Honestly, I don't think it will be that bad. I just keep thinking of my sports starting back up again, losing all my fitness, my teammates looking at the new, fat-again, unfit-again version of me. My friends seing me yo-yo-ing back up in weight like last year. I'm sick of it. I just want to be 52kg long-term, and then keep losing the weight till I get to my goal. I want to stop going up and down and getting emotionally torn up at the end of the year and starting the new one off badly. Onwards and downwards. Let's do it folks. 

We'll you're definitely not fat at 56kg, but I know what you mean! Yesterday I hit 56.5 after a few weeks if eating, I can feel my chin, legs and belly juggling, it's amazing how little it takes to start feeling different. This eating and exercise thing takes lots of practise, I'm right there with you!