Journal de LostKittenRae

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20 août 2010

Alright, I'm callin' it... after another 15 miles on the damn Elliptical last night, a low calorie count for yesterday, and my 4th weigh in on my home scale of "153" I'm considering the results another pound loss and so I'm down to "153" now... and rightfully so... with Monday and yesterday I've done 31 miles in the last 4 days... I'm not playin around with the last 10 pounds I need to lose... I know they mean business... if I'm ever going to reach my goal I need to step up my game... and I think I've done a pretty fine job of that this week... I don't think I've ever done two 15 mile workouts in one week... and well actually one of them this week was my 16 mile one... now if only I can make this happen on a more regular basis...

I wish I could tell you that all this working out is burning off my heartache and loneliness... but no such luck... I'm pretty down today... I'm really trying hard to keep my chin up, a positive attitude, stay hopeful... but inside I don't really feel that way... I just kind of feel like Sh*t... it can't last forever... hopefully this weekend will go well... not sure what the plan is... I'm taking my car to get an oil change after work... YEY? Spending more money I don't have... Awesome!

Well I guess that's enough negativity for one journal... I hope everyone has had a nice week... enjoy your weekend!

Poids:	Perdu jusqu'à présent:	Reste à parcourir:	Régime suivi:
69,4 kg	9,5 kg	3,6 kg	Raisonnablement Bien

(2 commentaires) Perdant 0,8 kg par Semaine

18 août 2010

Ahhh!! Work's been insane lately... it's starting to jab into my precious FatSecret time... how dare they not pay me to message on FatSecret >.> f*ckers

Well, I haven't exactly been much of a Social Butterfly lately anyways though... but I can tell you guys this much, I appreciate all your support and care you give me on here... and even when I'm not around commenting as much, you are all in my thoughts and I'm routing all of you on :) so keep up the great work!

Well I gotta get going... I'll try to leave a journal tomorrow!
Sweet dreams!

(2 commentaires)

17 août 2010

Well I didn't quite hit the "153" again like I had hoped to... but I'll tell you what I did do... I said screw you 15 miles and I one upped my work out and did 16 miles last night... yeah that's right baby! One mile more then I've ever done for a work out... I know one mile more may not seem like a big deal at first glance... but it was an incredible leap to me... I've never been able to push past 15 miles... I'm usually just thankful to have dragged my achey back and sore ass to the 15 mile mark little lone trying to push through another mile... but I did it... 16 miles on the elliptical and burned 1,830 calories :) I can't wait till I can hit burning 2000 carlories one of these days... if I could just push another mile and a half I would probably hit the 2,000 calories burned mark... I also kept my calorie count obnoxiously low yesterday...

It feels like my work outs are all I have to be proud of right now... the only thing that seems to calm me down lately... I mean I'm still in a dark mood but at least I'm not a total wreck crying myself to sleep... I was probably too tired to cry after going 16 miles... I passed out the moment I hit the pillow which was very nice... I need that right now... I need to eliminate alone time to think... that's no bueno... my heads a dangerous place... I shouldn't be left alone to play in it for too long...

On the bright side of things, something I hadn't mentioned yet... I'm going to get to fly up to Oregon this Labor Day Weekend, Sept. the 3rd... For those of you who don't know, Oregon is my dream state... I would give anything to live in Portland some day... it's my dream city... although I'd probably be equally as happy to be anywhere in Oregon... I just can't afford to get out of this Hell state... and honestly I would never be able to afford to fly up there either... lucky for me I have a couple of the two greatest friends up there... one that's flown me up to Portland before... and one that's flying me up to Eugene to hang out in Roseburg for the 3rd time this year... I don't know how I got so lucky... if anything will cure my soul a little it's a weekend in Oregon... plus it'll be good to see my friend again... it's definitely something nice to look forward to... keep my mind from dwelling on my inner emotions too much right now...

Anyways, work's been Hell lately... but what else is new... I'm looking forward to going to Applebees tonight... then tomorrow I'll get to see the boys... Justin promised we could bake cookies, I hope he still wants to... I could sure go for some cookies... don't worry I'll make up for it with a work out on Thursday...

I hope everyone has a nice Tuesday!!!

(4 commentaires)

16 août 2010

I mean I'm a little torn to what I should weigh in at... I've read "153" more then a couple of times on my home scale now but I had a rather naughty day yesterday with my calorie count and know I'm probably still sitting at "154"... so I'll keep it at "154" for now but don't be surprised if I weigh in again tomorrow... because I never got a chance to do my 15 mile work out over the weekend... only a 6 mile one... I know, LAME!... but I have every intention of going straight to the gym after work today and hitting those 15 miles... so I plan to weigh "153" again by tomorrow morning so I can re-weigh in at "153"... plus I'll be keeping my calorie count real low today, so that should help too...

I actually can't honestly say yesterday was the only naughty day with my calorie count this weekend... I basically failed all over the place... but I've been in a dark place and emotional and it makes me eat stupid things... I'm really going to try to get back on the ball starting today through to the rest of the week... I mean I'm not really feeling any better but I need to get a handle on myself before I screw everything up...

On the bright side of things Scott Pilgram V.S. the World was absolutely hularious!!! It was such a fun fun movie... I really want to see it again... Saturday Lunch with my dad was good... but the rest of Saturday basically really sucked... I took a pretty long nap in the middle of the day and then hit those 6 miles I did... I would've done more but I thought I was going over to hang out with Justin... but his plans ran late... so I did some Yoga... but I was uber depressed Saturday night and went super chaotic emo for the night... I was a wreck... it was ridiculous... I really need to be a stronger person...

Sunday was good though... I spent the day in Chandler with the boys... Justin and me watched Reaper ate some good food... I took another nap... oh how I love naps... we had a movie night at Mike's and watched Anger Management... and I mean you would have thought I'd pass out feeling better... but no, I'm a fail... can't seem to stop being ridiculous... I mean I pretend I'm alot more fine then I am when I'm not on here... but I don't want to have to hide how I'm feeling on here too... so there it is...

I hope everyone had a great weekend :)

Poids:	Perdu jusqu'à présent:	Reste à parcourir:	Régime suivi:
69,9 kg	9,1 kg	4,1 kg	Raisonnablement Bien

(5 commentaires) poids stable

13 août 2010

Ok so before I go venting in my own self misery... I first want to send out a very special Thank You to all my fellow FatSecretians who have been standing by me through this week... it's been rough for me and I just want you guys to know you're sweet and thoughtful comments mean the world to me... and having so many good people looking out for me certainly puts me in the right direction to get rid of this feeling of loneliness I've been battling with lately... I especially just want a thank a certain great guy on here for putting in more effort then he needed too... I feel really fortunate to have his friendship and really appreciate him making me laugh and smile... he's a freakin' great friend...

Now on the note of self misery, my work is absolutely ridiculous lately... they made me give up my desk :( which is very sad because now I won't be able to be surrounded by the things that keep my mood up at work... instead I get to sit at which ever desk has an absent person... awesome! >.< It's because I'm a temp here... never mind the fact I've been here for more then a year and work harder then more then half the people here...

I didn't do too much yesterday... I just had dinner with the boys and then went to bed... I'm not very motivated when I'm feeling depressed... tonight should be kind of fun though, I'm supposed to see Scott Pilgram v.s. The World tonight with Tim... I'm pretty excited to see that movie, it looks really awesome...

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with my Dad and then I intend to go get a 15 mile work out in... and obviously get some Yoga in also... I'm very in need of Yoga right now....

Well I hope everyone has a nice weekend... thanks again for looking out for me... I heart you guys uber lots!

(2 commentaires)

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