My weight gain and loss don't stem from using food as a coping mechanism; more like a reward.

I was out on my own at 15 . I got into a bad relationship, had children, got married, and got divorced. I was dirt poor and we barely had food at times. I went through a series of bad relationships and poor choices until finally getting my feet underneath me. I feel I lost a lot of my youth to playing grown up.

Fast forward 5 years and I found a great guy (who is now my husband). I've got a great job making great money. I earned my AAB and am 5 months away from my BSBM. I just bought a house. I quit smoking. But I've consistently gained weight since my and my husband have been together (6 years).

I feel that my eating (and honestly my spending) are based on a feeling of entitlement. I make good money, I've turned my life around, I've earned this brownie, cookie, ice cream, hot dog, pizza, pasta, etc. etc...

I recently hit the 200 lbs mark.. I want to cry writing that. It scares me and makes me feel horrible that I let my weight get this bad. So I decided that I have to start doing something. I have been consumed with taking care of business (house, school, kids, husband, pets, work) that I forgot, or never really knew, to take care of me.

So I'm starting an inch at a time. I'm relearning how to eat. The point is to not gourge myself my to feed my body. I'm learning that exercise is not a punishment; it is stress relief and time alone to think. Learning to be accountable for my lifestyle choices.

My goal weight is 150 lbs and I want to get there by eating better and getting more exercise. My short term goals are to lose 4 lbs each month.

SIX MONTH GOALS
08/26/11 - 196 *ACHIEVED BY 08/06/11
09/26/11 - 192 *ACHIEVED BY 08/20/11
10/26/11 - 188 *ACHIEVED BY 09/17/11
11/26/11 - 184 *ACHIEVED BY 10/08/11
12/26/11 - 180 *ACHIEVED BY 11/05/11
01/26/11 - 176