Journal de suechru

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23 novembre 2010

Tired. Very tired.

This'll be short because I just put in 27.5 hours at work in the last two days and I'm sleep deprived.

I'm here or I'll be back at least after the holiday. Still going to try to do the turkey trot 5K (walk) on Thursday. Haven't been doing that great in the last few days but I'm getting through. Probably going to start logging again next week but we'll see on that.

Hope everything's good with my buddies. I need to go sleep before I fall over.

(4 commentaires)

18 novembre 2010

I've been working lots of overtime this week and that's really not going to end until Christmas. Part of the reason is the non-stop deadlines, part of it is my desire to be extended/go perm (so I want to make a good impression), and part of it is that my company shuts down between Christmas and New Years and as I don't get paid for holidays I'm trying to bank enough money so I won't care about not getting paid for a week.

Oh and then there's the fact that if I can somehow get in enough hours by the week before Christmas I can get paid for at least two days of the holiday. (Big deal for me!) So I'm working. I've been given carte blanche for as much overtime as I want. Partially due to the workload in the department but partially because the director likes me and wants to keep me happy. (Her exact words "You're worth it"). OT is usually strictly not allowed (as it's time and a half pay) so I definitely want to take advantage. I don't know what's happening in late January/February - I may be extended, go perm, get offered another contract or end up unemployed again. I don't like the uncertainty but there's very little I can do about it.

I was tired when I came home tonight, all I wanted to do was put on warm socks (my office is freezing), and sit and shut my brain off. (Golden Girls and Sims are a great combo for this.) I'm probably ALSO working Saturday so at least I feel like I did the right thing by dropping that class. Any school on top of this is going to be tough, I can manage finance but there's no way I would've ever been able to catch up in the class from hell. It's kind of frustrating because I think my options would be better if I was definitely graduating soon. I know it's not the end of the world if I end up unemployed again but it really sucked and I don't want to go back to that.

So yeah, I'm just stressed. I'm still overloaded, I'm able to manage unlike last week but I just really want to rest. So I'm going to bed.

Anyone have suggestions for how I can get some energy?

Affirmations for today:
1) Rest is a necessary thing not a weakness

2) I can't do everything at once, as long as I just keep moving forward it doesn't matter how fast.

3) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(4 commentaires)

17 novembre 2010

The scale hasn't moved much in the last month or so and I'm going to be honest - that bothers me a little. I know I haven't been perfect with this but I figured I wouldn't have held steady so much. I think part of it is my body's been under too much stress. I also think it's possible I have some extra muscle. I'm not going to let it stress me too much but I would like to be down 5 lbs by the time I wear that dress next month.

I am officially out of that class from hell thanks to a huge assist from the dean of the program. I found that out this morning and it was like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. I have two classes done already for the semester (A- and a B) and I'm somewhere around a B+/A average in finance. I'm a little behind in there too but with only this to focus on I'll be caught up in no time.

I did register for next semester but I really don't know what I'm actually taking since I signed up for a bunch of classes with the thought that I'd drop at least one as long as I'm still working. (Things are still kind of uncertain for next year. I'm hopeful but there's no guarantees about anything past February.) I'm trying to be calm and patient. There's nothing more I can do right now than the best I can do in my finance class and keep giving it my all at work.

I'm tired. I know I should probably do some exercise tonight (and I do have a wii) but honestly, I'm just zonked today so I'm sitting here watching Golden Girls on DVD. 80s sitcoms are comfort tv for me.

I'm going for a massage at some point over the next few days, just not sure when to best schedule it. I want to do a hot stone one this time, I think. Although, honestly, a big long nap is what I want most right now.

Affirmations for today:
1) Sometimes winning isn't finishing first. Sometimes winning is just finishing.

2) There's a very big difference between slowing down and quitting

3) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(7 commentaires)

16 novembre 2010

The last time I bought a dress it was for my 30th birthday back in May. I bought a 20W then and remembered thinking how I had originally wanted to lose weight for my 30th and it hadn't happened.

After work, I went shopping for a dress for a holiday party. I found a dress.

It's a size 16

Not a 16W but an actual 16. Black velvet kinda short. I didn't think I'd be able to wear anything remote to this for another twenty five pounds at least. I really expected I'd have to go to Lane Bryant or Avenue (for a bigger size) since I wouldn't find anything that would fit in a department store. And yet, black velvet dress and even on SALE. (It came to like $45) Just have to figure out the right undergarments and it'll be perfect.

My size 18 pants that I'm wearing today, the pants I was desperately trying to get into for a lot of the summer are now big. In fact, I need to start belting them soon. My ankle boots that I remember having to fight with to get to zip are now perfect again.

I'm just... in shock I think. I mentioned it earlier but I'm doing two 5K walks between now and when I wear that dress so hopefully it'll look even better when I debut it.

Affirmations for today:
1) Life is what happens while you're making other plans, plan for the future but don't forget to live now.

2) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(21 commentaires)

16 novembre 2010

A 5K walk on Thanksgiving morning? Sure, why not.

I swore that the Dec 11th walk would be the first 5K I walked but I just saw one pop up in my twitter feed that's in my town and all the money goes to the local soup kitchen. It's another of those run/walk things but I'm very clearly walking it since there's no way I'll be able to run next week (wow, can't believe it's next week already.) I figure it's a good thing to do both for me and for the community so why not?

Plus, I'm going shopping tonight for my holiday party dress and I want to look freaking stunning in it so every little bit of exercise helps, right?

More later

(2 commentaires)

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