Journal de suechru

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01 janvier 2011

Picture post!

I've been sitting stunned looking at a picture of me from last night. Normally, when pictures are uploaded to facebook I look at them and go "gah, I'm so huge". This one I looked at my first response "Holy crap, I look so thin!"

Yes, I know my shirt is ridiculously low cut, it WAS NYE after all. :)

Compare this to January 2010:

Edited to add:
For those who were curious, here's the holiday party dress pic (best pic of me I found at least)

(7 commentaires)

01 janvier 2011

Happy New Year!

Writing this now because I just got home and my mind is going so I want to write this before I forget it.

You know how sometimes you know you're changing but you don't realize how much you've actually changed until some big event? That was tonight. I went to a New Year Eve's party at a friend's house. This is the third year he's hosted and the first time in five years I haven't been drunk by the time the ball dropped. I actually didn't get drunk at all. Not because there wasn't alcohol or whatever, I just didn't feel like it. (I had a really bad drinking experience on Christmas Day visiting family and the idea of being drunk/sick again turns my stomach still.) I had some wine, a tiny bit of champagne but that was it. That kind of struck me since I was the girl who used to down bottles of wine solo at a party and on a holiday like this I would've mixed a bunch of stuff and then fallen asleep somewhere (or drank until I either puked or made myself puke.)

Instead, I was the girl in the kitchen with the host and a few others talking about organic snacks and the evils of processed food. Not kidding, it came up since my friend (the host) went really into organics four years ago for health reasons. (Btw, buddies, I found some great organic blue corn chips with sesame - they're amazing!)

I ran into a lot of people that haven't seen me since the summer so between the weight loss (I was wearing a pair of size 18 jeans from NY & Company) and the new haircut the compliments came right and left. I actually had a guy (whom I'm not interested in) loudly say that I was the hottest girl in the room. So not interested in him but a really great ego boost.

Tonight, I also understood the living well is the best revenge axiom as the bitch who wrote that horrible letter to me back in September was there. She said was rude when I came in but things calmed down and I should point out she was there SOLO when she made sure to make it known to me that she had a boyfriend and I didn't because I was/am such a horrible bitch. Going to this party with this group really clarified for me who is worth my time - and who isn't. There's one friendship I'd like to try to salvage in some form, but there's definitely a few that I'm happy are dead and buried. This is definitely something I needed.

I guessed for the party but I didn't eat much there and ate before so I think the calorie count is fine (not over, not under - which was my concern.) Going to try to sleep.

Affirmations for today:
1) Sometimes a new start is just the next step of an ongoing process

2) Stubbornness, when properly channeled, turns into great determination.

3) Living well is the best revenge

4) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(7 commentaires)

01 janvier 2011

Poids:	Perdu jusqu'à présent:	Reste à parcourir:	Régime suivi:
104,9 kg	18,5 kg	30,1 kg	Raisonnablement Bien

Ajouter Commentaire Perdant 4,8 kg par Semaine

31 décembre 2010

So I'm back, partly it's been laziness that's kept me away. Partly it's been a complete and utter lack of time. It's New Year's Eve and while I'm not where I wanted to be on this date when I started back in July, I at least haven't gained much over the past two months (I'm not going to stress over 1.8 lbs). One thing's for certain I did figure out how to maintain, which is definitely a good thing - although, I'd like to be maintaining at a lower number obviously.

But it's New Years, a time for fresh starts and restarts and it's time to refocus, recenter and come back to where I should be. 2010 was definitely a bumpy year for me but I've come through it healthier than I've ever been and I can't deny myself that because I wish I was a smaller size.

So I'm grateful.

Poids:	Perdu jusqu'à présent:	Reste à parcourir:	Régime suivi:
105,6 kg	17,8 kg	30,8 kg	Raisonnablement Bien

(5 commentaires) Prenant 0,3 kg par Semaine

11 décembre 2010

First off, I do want to say I'm doing better, it's been a rough period lately. Partly due to stress, the holidays don't entirely help things. I've basically been frustrated by a lot of stuff right now. For example, I bombed my final the other night, I managed to pass the class but still.

Trying to recenter basically because I know I'm like all over the place mentally. I did manage to go out with some friends last night and had a good time. I have that holiday party next week and I found the perfect shoes today to go with my dress so I'm looking forward to that.

I'm back on track but starting slowly, I am logging. I totally guessed at dinner since I ordered some Chinese. Think I did okay since it was chicken and broccoli with no sauce (I'm not sure what's in the regular sauce and I have a hard time with MSG anyway), and wonton soup. Yum. Still have a ton of leftovers obviously. Last time I logged I would freak that I didn't have the absolute right amount of something entered but that break that I took proved I can trust myself with what I eat. I lose more quickly actually counting but I certainly didn't bloat up like I expected so if my guestimate is off, it's not that big.

My main goal logging these days is to make sure that I'm not ridiculously under or overeating (particularly with the stress I've been under), but I really think I'll be fine.

It amazes me how much colder I am this winter. Even in the middle of winter last year, my coats wouldn't zip and I really wasn't that cold in an unzipped coat. I'm wearing what I call my Nannook of the North coat (a suede coat with faux fur lining that by itself probably weighs like 15lbs.) The coat didn't zip last year, it now zips with layers of sweatshirts and sweaters underneath (and I am usually cold these days.)

Anyway, going to try to put my tree up and get in the holiday spirit the best I can since I think it might help my mood.

Affirmations for today:
1) It's okay to ask for help when I need it, I don't have to do everything alone

2) Very few journeys are a straight line. Sometimes you have to just follow the bends in the path.

3) I can trust myself to make good choices

4) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(5 commentaires)

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