Journal de suechru

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07 février 2011

I'm not going to lie, the last month or so has been tough. First the layoff which was a huge adjustment. Additionally, it's been horrific weather wise in NJ - lots of snow, almost constant snow and ice. With the start of classes on top of that, I've been all out of sorts.

Weight wise, I've pretty much stayed constant - I can definitely maintain in the 230 range but until today it's been ages (at least a month and a half since I exercised.) I prefer to be outside if at all possible and most of the last month, that simply hasn't been possible. Today was warm enough (mid 40s) and actually sunny (and not snowing) so I had a really good walk and feel tons better now. In fact, I feel the best I've felt in a month and a half - coincidence, probably not.

I'm going to try logging again but I'm not stressing too much over the log, the main thing I'm going to aim for is some type of actual exercise every day (outside if possible) to get out of this blah mood and try to regain some kind of calm in my life.

School is going well so far, although I wish I was taking class more than two days a week (I'm taking two classes on Thursdays) but I really like having somewhere to actually GO since it keeps me from being a shut in (particularly when the weather is crappy.) I've had some job interviews already but am still waiting to hear and doing some more searching. I haven't had a perm job since 2009 and it's really kind of a sore subject at the moment as I'm really getting sick of looking.

Tonight is one of my class nights, so I'll be heading towards school in a bit (and swinging by Chipotle for a burrito bowl for dinner because while this class is required, it's exceedingly dull and getting to treat myself to something yummy and still nutritious makes me more eager to actually ATTEND.)

Thank you buddies for your concerns about how I was MIA over the last month. You're all so wonderful and I'm really blessed to have people like you check in. I'll try to get caught up with your journals/progress over the next day or so.

Affirmations for today:
1) Maintaining, particularly when I'm not trying to do anything, is a really great accomplishment I should be proud of.

2) It's not how many times you fall, but how many you get back up.

3) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(3 commentaires)

06 janvier 2011

Did something tonight that I haven't done in months - go out on a weeknight after work. I know it seems so minor but it's been MONTHS since I've gone anywhere after work particularly on a weeknight. Went to happy hour and parked pretty damn far from the venue so I feel no guilt about the two glasses of wine. :)

Afterwards went to Panera and for once they actually had the calories on the menu board - not sure if they do this all the time now but it was a huge relief as I managed to order the one half sandwich that isn't ridiculously overloaded in calories. Yes, I also had a bowl of cheddar broccoli soup but seriously, yum. Plus, it's freaking cold here and I nearly froze walking around.

Getting out helped my mood a lot. I know things are going to be okay, it's just tough to finish out these last few days at work when I really want to stay

Affirmations for today:
1) Sometimes there's reasons for things we can't understand at the time

2) Patience is necessary when dealing with any change.

3) The only way out is through

4) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life.

(9 commentaires)

04 janvier 2011

Having a hard time today, still feeling emotional about the whole end of work thing since my last day was confirmed as next Friday. I got the invite to my farewell lunch today and nearly cried at my desk.

I know things'll be okay but this is just painful. I want to stay there, I don't want to go back to that huge mess of financial uncertainty that I was in before I started here. I just want to fast forward to next week already and have this be over because there's just so much. It's so frustrating to be good at my job, well-liked and have worked my butt off for the last six months and STILL being shown the door. I know it's not me but it's discouraging as hell.

Still PMSing, still upset. I bought a mega millions ticket hoping it would save me from the non-stop job search that I know is going to ensue soon. I'm just in a mood and I know this is all going to work out but I just want to curl up somewhere and lick my wounds in peace.

Which is what I think I'm going to do

(1 commentaire)

03 janvier 2011

Still here.

Kind of in a mood today - I think part of it is the impending end of my job (which was now pushed out to next Friday) but mostly it's PMS related (considering that I also have been craving guacamole for the past 24 hours.)

I kind of am annoyed at the resolutionists (as one of my buddies called them) since I've seen crap in my fb feed from them (including one where a guy literally started a blog to take pictures of his abs, not making this up.) Don't get me wrong, I am very supportive of anyone who's legitimately trying to make a life change but so much of the resolutionist crowd is fake and suddenly they're a bunch of know-it-alls about what works and what doesn't. If they knew what "worked" long-term they wouldn't be making the same resolution year in, year out, now would they?

I've spent a good chunk of today trying to tie up loose ends from last year. Some of it is errands (such as picking up my glasses), some is logistics (finalizing my spring class schedule), and some is just general life stuff. I just want to get this to-do list taken care of and move forward for what's next since I know my life is going to drastically change again.

But I know this uncertainty will pass, I know the PMS mood swings will go away in a day or two and I know that I'll figure out a way forward. Just now going through one minute at a time when the need arises. Feeling really tired today - I could've fallen asleep on my desk. I'm sure it's a combo of stuff.

Anyway, I'll get through...

Affirmations for today:
1) Everything gets sorted out eventually

2) I need to be patient with myself and the adjustments I'm going through

3) Change your thoughts, change your habits, change your mind, change your body, change your life

(4 commentaires)

02 janvier 2011

Poids:	Perdu jusqu'à présent:	Reste à parcourir:	Régime suivi:
104,7 kg	18,7 kg	29,8 kg	Raisonnablement Bien

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